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Diva
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11 years ago 0 Diva 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Can't sleep! Only slept like 3 hours last night but still can't sleep. The lack of sleep is getting to me. I am anxious. I have all sorts of annoying symptoms atm. Mostly, it feels like I can't stop thinking in circles and driving myself up the walls. I have strange scary thoughts popping into my head and they bother me as they scare me. They make my heart pound. But I can't fight them off so all I can do is accept them and let them run their course and challenge them as they go. It is exhausting! I am so tired. I need sleep but sleep won't come. I do better when I have slept lol. I am stressing and so I don't sleep. And because I haven't slept, I stress out. Vicious cycle...I am stressing about my graduation and about my life in general. Ah well, I am sure I will be ok. This is just a tough night that is all. But life will go on and this too shall pass! Thanks for letting me vent!
Diva
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11 years ago 0 Diva 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hiya Breanne,
 
I have spoken to my Doc about this. Many times lol. She says it is probably my anxiety and the fact my pressure tends to be a bit low. The tip for switching positions is a great one thanks! I intend to use it! I do tend to get very dizzy when changing positions. So it will help a lot I am sure. But I will see my doctor again soon and I will talk to her again.
 
As for the hubby. Things are pretty much the same as yesterday. We had another talk today. It went well I think.There was no screaming so that was good!
 
Thing is I almost did not sleep last night. I went to bed and stayed awake all night...Then I slept sometimes betwen 10H30 am and 2 pm. I am exhausted tonight! I guess I will have to take my sleeping meds tonight, if this keeps up...I am uncomfortable with medications though so this is tough for me.
 
Also, I think I have a lot on my mind. My house is a mess, my life is a mess, my marriage is a mess, my finances are a mess...
 
On top of it my graduation is coming up. And I am terrified! Terrified I tell you! Boy talk about irrational fears. When my Dad graduated two years ago, I panicked at his graduation. Last year, I had so much anxiety at my brother's graduation that I stood in the back next to the door away from other people... Now this year it is my turn to go to graduation. I will have to sit in the middle of a crowd for hours, then walk up in front of everybody and get my diploma. I could freak out just thinking about it! I wasn't gonna go to it but then I made the dean's list and there was so much pressure on me to go that I said I would. Now I am terrified and I feel stuck. I know this is not rational. I have done scarier things and been fine.
 
I guess I will just have to do my though challenging and all. anyone have any advice on how to deal with this kind of situation? Any advice would be great!
Breanne, Bilingual Health
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Diva,
 
Glad to hear that you and your husband had a talk this morning. And how wonderful that he turned off the computer!
In terms of your dizzy spells, please consult your MD. Although dizziness is a listed symptom associated with panic disorder, you should be evaluated further to rule out other potential causes.
In the meantime, try taking 30 seconds between each shift in position.
For ex: Going from lying to sitting, take a 30 second pause before getting up to a standing position.
 
Hope this helps! Members, any other suggestions?
 
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
Diva
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11 years ago 0 Diva 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hiya Gene,
 
Thanks for dropping in and replying to me. I really appreciate your support. As for patching things up, I think we have a lot of work to do but peace has returned for now .  But we did have a good chat this morning. He even turned off the computer. Not usre what will happened but at least we tried.
 
I feel pretty anxious today. I keep getting dizzy spells and this weird sensation like my head is floating. My heart beats to hard and fast too. It is truely annoying. But I did not get to sleep till 6 am this morning and I had a huge fight with hubby last night so I am not totally surprised I am anxious today. I am cranky and tired and I am more anxious on those kinds of days. Plus, trouble with my relationships always up my anxiety as I start ruminating about it a lot. Been trying to challenge my thoughts but mostly I have tried to keep myself busy today. I went for a beautiful ong walk with my mom. I even managed to walk past my safe zone! Plus, I had left my emergency anxiety meds at home! Tadda! that is progress! Then my mom, hubby and me went to the restaurant.
 
Things are tense between me and the hubby right now. I think it was good I had my mom to chat with. Being cranky, anxious and tired, I would have started another fight easily. And after having a decent chat with him this morning I think not fighting is best.
 
Btw, have any tips on dealing with dizziness and light headedness? And how are you? How have you been doing?
 
Anyway, thanks again and have a great evening!
Genejockey
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11 years ago 0 Genejockey 187 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hi Diva
 
Glad to see youvwrite here again. Sorry to hear you had such a big fight with your hubby but I am glad he returned home. Perhaps you guys will patch things up now? 
Diva
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11 years ago 0 Diva 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hubby came home. Said nothing to me and just went to bed...Sorry for the venting. Had had such a lovely day.

Well tomorrow is another day. You know what they say: The sun will come out, tomorrow... :P

Have a good day!
Diva
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11 years ago 0 Diva 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hiya guys and gals,

Hubby left. We fought. Over what? Over territory. He says I hog the t.v./ living room. I told him I have nowhere else to hang. He has the little bedroom / office. That room is his. I only go there when he wants company or to print things. I don't have that. I don't have a room. But still, since I am most often in the living room, since he has the office and plays there (video games) alot. He expects that he should be able to just commandeer the living room when he wants it. I couldn't commandeer the office whenever I want though...So yeah we fought over territory. Shocked neither of us peed in all four corners of the room...I told him I felt like I have nowhere, like if he throws me out of the living room I have nowhere...He figures he is the one who has nowhere and that he is stuck in the office and has nowhere to go. What a mess...

Anyway, not exactly sure how things went, it is all a blurr now...Anyway, he took his car keys and left. I asked him where he was going, he said:"I don't know.". I asked are you going to come home? He said: "Probably not, I don't know." I said ok well can you at least call me if you land somewhere for the night so I don't stay up all night worried you are in a ditch or somthing. He said:"...". Yup nothing at all, he just left. I told him to be careful. Asked him to call me once again. Again no answer. And he gets into his car and he just drives away, no goodbyes, no wave, no I will call you. Nothing. Not a word. And he is gone.

I don't know if he will be back. So for now I am up and I am waiting. I am sitting here holding one of his old t-shirts because it smells like him. I am here terrified something bad will happen to him as he drives around angry in the midlle of the night. Waiting.Waiting to see if he comes home. Waiting to see if he sleeps somehwere for the night, to see if he calls me, to see if he is safe. I just wait anxiously with my heart pounding...I had had a good day...had...

All of this because I wanrted to finish my stupid kiddie movie when he wanted the t.v...

Life s**ks. It really really s**ks!
Breanne, Bilingual Health
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Diva,
 
Glad to hear that your vacation went well. It's also great to hear that you are still doing your yoga, getting your rest, and taking some time for you. Take your time getting things done, and focus on the positive!
 
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
Diva
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11 years ago 0 Diva 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hi guys,
 
Vacation went well. I came back felt proud of myself.
 
Kinda fell off the face of the world again as I am exhausted and tired. I thought I had a part time job lined up but I do not (long story). Now I have to deal with getting one. Finanaces are rough, marriages is semi-rough and I can't afford a councellor. I am on a waiting list for a marriage councellor  with and organisation that charges very little per session. I am just not sure how long that will take... My house is a mess! I have no energy to clean it. Burn-outs are no fun....
 
All things considering though I am doing well. I do my yoga, I try to rest and all that. The lack of getting stuff done is making me more anxious but I am managing to keep my anxiety under control. So yay for that!
 
Anyway, That is it for me!
cornish-dee
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11 years ago 0 cornish-dee 778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
 Diva , good grief girl ! How amazing and brave are you ? Im in awe here .
 
Joins in the clinking of glasses !!!
 
 
What an adventure .

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