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Cant cope anymore


zoe31
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11 years ago 0 zoe31 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey karla
im feeling rubbish again, now that i have no meds again, i rang the docs before and asked if i could have anymore and she said to ring back again at 4.30 to find out, i know the answer will be a no and as for how im feeling after the treament at hosp im feeling quite rough tbh, my stomache is sore, and lower back and loads of discharge but i think this is all normal, im not allowed to bath for 4 weeks  im allowed to shower, but not got one lol just hate waiting on the results.How are you doing? i hope everything is good for you xx
 
Hi Brandie
I dont mind you asking at all, thanks im sure (kinda) the results will come back fine, i understand were you are coming from its hard when you are anxious and you have the kids wanting your attention and being around you, i find im very irratable when im anxious so i cant stand people talking or being around me, i just want to be on my own, i also feel like a horrible mum, but we are not brandie, were just going through a difficult time at the moment and being anxious 24/7 dosnt help as we dont get a break from it at all, try not to blame yourself for how your daughter is reacting, maybe shes just got all her hormones running around her body already, i have a 10 year old daughter to and at times she can be stroppy but i dont think its cause of my anxiety i just think shes growing up, is there no way you and your daughter can have time on your own one or 2 days in the week, to get to know eachother again and enjoy eachothers company? and yes i agree if we could control the anxiety and panic, it would be alot easier to deal with the kids as we wouldnt be fighting the constant worry of panic as well as the children.
I totally understand about the partner problem, what seems simple to him is so hard for me yet he thinks i should be able to do it and we often argue about stuff to do with the disorder, my partner has also said things along the lines of it all being in my head, or that im making it up ect ect as for losing all hope, i think my relationship with my partner is over, we are both here for different reason and none of those is deep love for eachother, last week i was at one of my lowest points so at this time he decides tell me that he isnt in love with me anymore, he tells me im a useless partner and mum alot, so im just waiting to get better to get out of the relationship but i dont know how to get better with him putting me down so much.
 
I think all it takes is one attack for some people, ive only had 2 "big" attacks both when i was out but i have alot of little ones, i dont drive myself so i dont know why it helps you but ive seen people saying driving helps tham as they have to concentrate, can you not get in the car and go for a long drive when your feeling anxious and just need a break? could your husband not mind the kids while you do that?
 
I wish you the best of luck to hun and your right we cant let this beat us, we have to be strong and know that one day we will beat it and get back our lives that we have missed out on so far, i hope the meds you are on are working for you xx
Brandie
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11 years ago 0 Brandie 52 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hi Zoe! I hope all goes well with the pre cancerous cells testing. I feel alot like you in many ways. I have 2 children and husband. I am anxious 24/7. I feel like a horrible mom all the time. My little boy who is 18 months is very attached to me. He wants my full undivided attention constantly, except for when his father is home, then I get some relief. Sometimes he gets so whiny, I just can't take it anymore. I find myself screaming and crying to him at the top of my lungs to just shut up. I love him dearly and mean no harm to him, but in time this will impact him greatly as I believe it has my 10 year daughter. Me and her hardly have any relationship. She is negative, yells at me, fights with me, won't listen to me. Hmmmm...Wonder where it all came from......ME! Somedays I just want her to go live somewhere else. Don't get me wrong I love her just as much as my son, just lately I can't stand her. When I know it's time for her to come home I get a more anxious feeling knowing I have to deal with her smart butt attitude and fighting with her brother. I'm thinking if I can get the anxiety / panic thing under control, i will be able to cope better with the kids. They don't know what I'm going through or how horrific it is. My husband don't understand but about half tries to help me with some things sometimes. Of course, he thinks it's something else, or all in my head. Do you think you have lost all hope for you and your husband or maybe could it be due to the constant anxiety issue. Maybe this is none of my business. Does he completely understand how horrific it is to live with anxiety as we do. I'm trying so very hard to deal with this because I can't live another minute let alone years with this.
 
And I can relate to you a little about going out. When i go out I get very anxious and can almost feel a panic attack coming on. I've only had one and it was at home, so go figure. But you know what is strange I feel calm when I'm driving. It's when I park the car and have to go into the store I start getting anxious. Driving for me comes relatively easy and wish I could just take a drive alone every few hours. I notice I'm alot more cautious and a little jumpy if I see a car pulling up to an intersection, but i've been that way to some degree always especially if i'm the passenger. If I riding with someone, i'm anxious as can be. I can't hardly look where we are going or I feel dizzy. This just happened since i started with my anxiety problems a month and half ago. I've never had a bad wreck. A couple minor ones when I was 16. I'm now 33.
 
I wish you the best of luck with everything as I do everyone on this board. We have to refuse to let this thing bring us down no matter how bad things seem. I am very hopeful that the doctor can find the right medication for me. I'm working on my 3rd one now having just started them yesterday. I was never a pill taker, but if it means retifying this horrible condition, I'll take them.
karla
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11 years ago 0 karla 52 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
hey how are you doing?
zoe31
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11 years ago 0 zoe31 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Thanks ashley
The things that worked for me was keep as busy as i could before it as thats the worst part for me is waiting to go cause it gives me time to have negative thoughts, 2nd was to go with my safe person and someone who i know that drives which was my mum for my safe person and my mum in law who drives, knowing that if i need to turn back then i could, 3rd i took everything that i needed to help me and make me feel better which is 1. my bottle of water 2. my mobile phone with head phones to listen to music if i have to and 3. my book that has all the stuff of this site that i have wrote down and that i can write my negative thoughts in and challenge if i need to and also the printable worksheets of this site oh and a pen, as for the drive there i read every sign i could and number plates on cars and tried keep a conversation going in the car and once at the hospital i kept thinking to myself if im gonna have a panic attack then this is best place for it to happen, plenty of help, also when i had to wait i made sure i was near a window and kept it open to get the breeze on me.
I hope this bit of stuff that i do can help any others x
Ashley -> Health Educator
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zoe27,
 
Congratulations! Thats a big deal. The more you do things to challenge yourself the more confident you'll feel.  The hospital is a pretty scary place to be for anyone so good for you! Now that you have been through it, what advice would you give to others who may have to go to the doctors/hospital?
 
Our thoughts are with you while you wait. Keep us posted on how everything goes. We're here for you!
 
 
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
zoe31
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11 years ago 0 zoe31 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Thanks jhori81
 
I hope i can keep the good feeling, i feel great knowing i did it without a PA and im sure they wont be cancerous...
positive thinking
xx
jhori82
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11 years ago 0 jhori82 123 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Great job on going to the doc, AND without a panic attack!!  Keep that good feeling going :)
 
And I hope the cells don't turn out to be cancerous as well.  But even if they are, glad you caught them early enough to nip it in the butt now!
 
Cheers!
zoe31
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11 years ago 0 zoe31 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hiya,
just got back from the hospital, been out 2 hours, and i didnt have 1 panic attack i felt a lil anxious now n then but nothing major and that i couldnt handle, so im pretty chuffed, i kno wthe diazepam helped that the doc gave me just for going to the hosp, but still i did it, the treatment wasnt very nice but the docs made me feel comfertable, now ijust have to wait for the results to see if the pre-cancerous cells have turned into cancer or not im sure ill be fine though
Diva2
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11 years ago 0 Diva2 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hiya Zoe,

I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it between the pre-cancer thing, the relationship and the anxiety. But you can get through this and you will. We will all be here for you to cheer you on! Please keep us posted.

Hey Karla,

Sorry to hear you have to deal with this stuff too. As I said to Zoe, you can do this, I really believe that. So hang in there and keep us posted.

This too shall pass!
zoe31
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11 years ago 0 zoe31 61 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo

LOL yes men can defo be unhelpful, good luck with your treatment karla, its ashame the hospitals are so unhelpful, im sure we will both be fine, like you said there a lot they can do now.

Hiya karen, yes i do the box breathing and muscle relaxation every night in bed and if i feel paniky in day ill do it also, ive already asked my GP for some medication but he said he wouldnt give me any, so i have to wait tell feb, my GP is a waste of time

Thanks


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