Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Quit date in T-4 hours

Timbo637

2021-04-19 9:34 AM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Wheel of Emotions

Ashley -> Health Educator

2021-04-14 1:25 PM

Depression Community

logo

13 Years today!!

ScouseMouse

2021-04-09 12:23 PM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Downward spiral

Ashley -> Health Educator

2021-04-07 6:22 PM

Depression Community

This Month’s Most Loved Posts:

Browse through 411314 posts in 46950 threads.

136,855 Members

Please welcome our newest members: rizexnite, Cbeaulieu, Kmhr21#, Mitchp, Kaijas@shaw.ca

Re introduce myself


Congrats on getting through one month Gus! One month is the hardest, and it sounds like you are doing amazing. I love your mindset! I hope you rewarded yourself in some way!

Take care,

Ashley

28 days ago (Edited 22 days ago) 0 GusA 114 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Non thinking has been an issue for me. I did not think through the action when I went back to drinking again. If I did, I would have been reminded of the trouble and agony it caused me, and those around me, in the past.

I try and be as contented as humanly possible every day. I know there are challenges, but I can handle them when I stay contented and calm. I do everything I can to avoid being restless and irritable. I have so much internal peace when I conduct my days this way.

I know I'm only in week 4, but this is the combined formula I need to follow.

Have a great day guys!



foxman @ Mar 23, 2021 8:25:51 AM
I don’t know what changed in my mindset that made me go back drinking? I really don’t. I wish I had recorded how my thinking changed.

I totally get it. The book calls it the "Blank Spots" or Peculiar mental twists. The mind doesnt operate at all (From Bills story: Someone offered me a drink and i took it) or the voice in the head (An ounce of whiskey in milk on a full stomach wont hurt, from the car salesman story). In either case, the problem drinker acts on that thought/no thought and then the craving kicks in and then they get drunk.
My understanding is, it takes a deep level, at the gut-wrenching level, that we have a problem with drinking but thats just the first step in recovery. Then belief in some process that can restore us to sanity. So we have a clear understanding about ourselves and our relationship with alcohol. As we start working on the reminder of the steps, we will be restored to sanity.
Most people i know who have worked the steps and continue to make progress hardly have to worry about being drunk again. Few do go out. Thats because of the individual. We are human, occasionally we do get resentful and if we dont act quick, the chance of going back is very good. Thats why the book talks about being contingent of being spiritual fit. So i try hard not to be restless irritable and discontented.




Four weeks alcohol free. Starting week 5 alcohol free tomorrow morning.

What is making this stick this time? Mindset. My mindset is proper this time. I know alcohol is not doing anything for me.

Have a great week everyone!

Gus


Hey guys,

This is the start of week 5 alcohol fee for me. Had a great weekend Alcohol free!

I realize that my ability to think deeply and longer is greatly improved by not drinking. Drinking seemed to completely mess up my thinking. Did any of you find your ability to think improved when you stopped alcohol?

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks

Gus



Hey guys,

This is the start of week 5 alcohol fee for me. Had a great weekend Alcohol free!

What is making this stick this time? Mindset. My mindset is proper this time. I know alcohol is not doing anything any good for me, so why drink it?

I realize that my ability to think deeply and longer is greatly improved by not drinking. Drinking seemed to completely mess up my thinking. Did any of you find your ability to think improved when you stopped alcohol? 

Any feedback would be appreciated. 

Thanks

Gus

28 days ago 0 foxman 1548 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I don’t know what changed in my mindset that made me go back drinking? I really don’t. I wish I had recorded how my thinking changed.


I totally get it. The book calls it the "Blank Spots" or Peculiar mental twists. The mind doesnt operate at all (From Bills story: Someone offered me a drink and i took it) or the voice in the head (An ounce of whiskey in milk on a full stomach wont hurt, from the car salesman story). In either case, the problem drinker acts on that thought/no thought and then the craving kicks in and then they get drunk.

My understanding is, it takes a deep level, at the gut-wrenching level, that we have a problem with drinking but thats just the first step in recovery. Then belief in some process that can restore us to sanity. So we have a clear understanding about ourselves and our relationship with alcohol. As we start working on the reminder of the steps, we will be restored to sanity.

Most people i know who have worked the steps and continue to make progress hardly have to worry about being drunk again. Few do go out. Thats because of the individual. We are human, occasionally we do get resentful and if we dont act quick, the chance of going back is very good. Thats why the book talks about being contingent of being spiritual fit. So i try hard not to be restless irritable and discontented.



28 days ago 0 Lynn123 322 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Gus and John,

The start of another week and both of you continue on the right track.  I read similar concerns in both of your posts and would like to add my thoughts.  John, you ask what members have done to stay sober.  Gus, you question what changed in your mindset to take you back to drinking.

In my opinion, to remain sober is to continue working.  Time has a way of clouding our memory.  You both describe events that occurred when you were drinking and are determined to never allow such events again.  In the years to come will those images have the clarity they have today?  If not, perhaps that's how the slippage occurs.  

We know that giving up alcohol is not easy and requires work.  I think we get a little complacent as the days turn to weeks, months, and years.  We become vulnerable to the temptations that we thought we had learned to control. I once thought that when a certain amount of time passed without drinking, everything would be okay.  Life without alcohol got easier but I quickly realized there was still work to be done. This is one reason I continue to come back here. It’s my reminder of the control alcohol had and will always have, on me. This will most likely be a lifelong struggle for me, and I’m okay with that.  This struggle is far easier than the “fun” I was having while drinking. 

I hope this helps in some way.  I continue to support both of you and wish you luck!  

Lynn



28 days ago 0 GusA 114 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Week 4 starting today. Have to say I’m feeling great physically and mentally. So is everyone around me. The way I drank was not good. For anyone.

John, hope you have a good week!

Foxman, and anyone else who wants to comment: I was away from Drinking for 3 years. There were two high end Vodkas in my cupboard for about 6 months during that time (I won them at a conference). I gave them to two friends of mine about 6 months after I won them. The thought of drinking them never occurred to me once (that’s one of the drinks I liked when I drank).

I don’t know what changed in my mindset that made me go back drinking? I really don’t. I wish I had recorded how my thinking changed.

Foxman, I like what you say about the deep realization that we’re not like others. I had trouble with that my first time in AA. I told myself I wasn’t like the others because frankly, I hadn’t lost as much as they had. The truth is, I was only a step away from complete devastation. I was spared. My life was spared, my family was spared and I thank god every day for that. I lied to others, I lied to myself. No more lying for me. If I drink again, it will not be because I think a can handle it, it will be because I lied to myself again and let my guard down. I know that this is typical for us alcoholics and there will always be those that have lost more, or behaved worse than I have ( although that one I would challenge!) but I don’t want to be that person anymore. I heard my daughter on an alateen meeting one eve and it brought me to my knees. I will never make my kids suffer like that again. I know I have damaged them and I can’t take it back but I am determined to let them be sure that they can rely on me forever, to be there for them, to be honest with them and to say no to drinking every day for their lifetimes. We have all done horrible things when drunk but that fact will never repair how my girls and their mum have been hurt. I’m so thankful I can see this now. I don’t know where my head was a few months ago. I’m past the excuses and blame. Fox man and others, can you tell some things you’ve done on a practical level to help stay sober? I want to ensure that I’m not missing anything obvious. One thing I plan to do this summer is to only attend cook outs with people who I would not drink with, basically people that know I have a problem. Another day sober!

John

29 days ago 0 foxman 1548 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
GusA @ Mar 20, 2021 12:16:04 PM
Hey Foxman,
Thanks for the input. I am not bought in 100 percent on all of AA. But I do find parts of it helpful for me.
The internal thinking (or lack of thinking) is what I have to focus on and make sure I manage properly. If I manage my thinking correctly, I wont drink. I know this to be true, as it worked for me for almost 3 years in the past.
I don't know if all people who have problems with drinking can focus on this as a solution, but this is what I need to pay attention to. This works for me.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Gus


I encourage you to find the truth. When you say it worked for you last 3 years. but finally it gave in. Thats the point the book is trying to illustrate. The book talks about hard drinkers. They can party like hell, but when it comes to health, or partners threatening them to leave the book says they can leave it or moderate drinking. Then we have the alcoholics. Who need little bit more. Spiritual awakening. A shift in attitude and conscious effort to overcome the spiritual malady. The first step in recovery is that deep realization that we are different from other drinkers. And taking a genuine effort to lead a life without alcohol. That by the way is a by-product of the work we undertake.

30 days ago 0 Lynn123 322 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

John and Gus,

Congratulations to you both. Keep on keeping on!

Lynn

a month ago 0 GusA 114 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Hey Foxman,

Thanks for the input. I am not bought in 100 percent on all of AA. But I do find parts of it helpful for me.

The internal thinking (or lack of thinking) is what I have to focus on and make sure I manage properly. If I manage my thinking correctly, I wont drink. I know this to be true, as it worked for me for almost 3 years in the past.

I don't know if all people who have problems with drinking can focus on this as a solution, but this is what I need to pay attention to. This works for me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Gus

a month ago 0 foxman 1548 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
GusA @ Mar 19, 2021 11:14:49 AM
AA members tell the new people to "play the tape forward" all the time.


Guys, great job on 3 weeks. I too was impressed with these cliches, sounded very honest and doable. But after a while, I came to understand if I am alcoholic and I dont take care of my internal conditions (being restless, irritable, discontented, you can add other maladies) the obsession to drink returns and i take that first drink. Bear in mind, there are several members in AA dont subscribe to what is in the book. Pick up the book and find for yourself. In the past, what happened prior to going back out.

The book talks about "We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."

Note sure if you were around, when one of the members bought Vodka and proudly said they dumped in the trash can? A few days later, they came back and posted that they took the bottle out and drank it? I am just quoting the incident to highlight the above statement. And in the book too there are some few stories to illustrate that in the chapter "More about alcoholism".

There are some good workshops on youtube on the big book, you can pick one of them and listen to one of those workshops.


Reading this thread: